Happily never after
by Cailen89
Summary: Cailen F. Munroe, a very unhappy youth destroyed her teen years, she is now 17 and is invited to study her last year at hogwarts, she's still broken down from what happened to her, there is one guy that can help her see it's allright. but only if he sees.
1. Prologue

AN. I do not own harry potter, this is just my story wich happens to contain some of the beautifull characters and places JK invented.

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There was nothing I could do anymore, he tied me up, he covered my mouth, all I could do now was just pretend.. I pretended I was somewhere else, not feeling his entire body lying on top of me. I pretended I was someone else, someone who stuff like this didn't happen to. I pretended I didn't feel it, that it was alright, pretending was so much easier with him.

When I pretended to be happy with him, he wouldn't beat me, or at least not as much as normal, when I pretended I wasn't disgusted by him, he might not lock me up in the basement. When I pretended I liked him then maybe, just maybe he wouldn't beat and rape me, if I were lucky. Unfortunaly I had to pretend for 2 years, he kept me there, for 2 years, he convinced me my parents didn't want me anymore, that he was all I had left, no one else would take care of me. He was so agressive, I can still remember the first time he took me there, i was 12, allmost 13, everything is going to be allright he said. It was christmas soon, and he expected a gift. A special gift, a gift I wasn't ready to give him. He was, apparantly, very ready to take it from me though. Christmas eve, he stole it from me, and I'll never get it back, and inside he killed a piece of me, as he did every single time he did it again. The truth is, if after a long, struggling two years, his brother hadn't come, shocked by what he saw, and taken me away. I would've been dead by now, by his hand or my own I can't say, but I know for certain that I couldn't have taken it much longer. He came right after the worst emotional blow. I was standing in the kitchen, crying as allways, blood in my face, he hit me again, he knew I should be having my period by now, but I wasn't. He blamed me, he had raped me for every single day for the last 2 years, and he was surprised he got me pregnant. He got so mad at me, before I even saw it coming he hit me again, and again, and then he hit me in my stumach, and everything just turned pitchblack. I remember that he hit me several times more after that, I heard screams, screams I wasn't certain were my own. I little while later I felt someone pick me up and all I remember after that is the hospital i woke up at. My parents sitting beside my bed..

Now, two years later, I've escaped him, my best friend, his brother, he got me out of that hellhole. My best friend, my savior ,the father of my godchildren, a beautiful little girl, and a yet to be born godson. This year I'm going to start the 7th year at Hogwarts, I spent the first 2 years of my schooling at beauxbatons, while the 3d throughout 6th year, I got home schooled for personal reasons.. But now, I'm ready to start living my life again, I'm ready to enter society again. No more fears, nothing is gonna stop me now, I want to live my life again. Maybe even be happy again.

I was surprised, to say the least, when this summer I got a letter from the Headmistress of Hogwarts, asking me to come study and finish my education at Hogwarts school for witchcraft and wizardry. In that letter she also informed me I would be made headgirl. I didn't quite understand why, so I sent her a letter. She replied very shortly after that and said that apparently the other girl she found most capable would be absent most year, and she hoped that I would be good for house unity. For this last year I would not be sorted, I would be living in a separate common room with the headboy so I wouldn't even be seeing much of my houseroom anyway. And not being sorted would surely be an advantage in the battle to improve the house unity. And now, here I am, standing on platform 9¾, ready to board the Hogwarts express, my new life ready to begin any minute now..

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AN. Please let me know what you think.. this is just a prologue if you see anything you think could/should be improved, don't be afraid to let me know :)


	2. The start of a new beginning

**AN. **thanks for the review, i hope you like the first chapter, if there are any grammar mistakes, please let me know and i'll fix them. ( english is just my 2nd language )

disclaimer. I do not own harry potter, my mind is not magnificent enough to make something incredible like that up.

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**The start of a new beginning**

After walking around for several minutes I found an empty compartment, put down my trunk and relaxed on one of the couches. I looked out the window as the train had just left the station, I was nervous, nervous of all the people that would be there. How was I ever going to make any friends, they'd all known each other for 6 years or more, and I'm just an out stander. But I couldn't let myself worry about that right now. The biggest problem might just be me being headgirl, having to share a common room with, well a guy, a guy I've never met before. And I was supposed to meet him somewhere along this train ride. I just hoped he was nice, and easy to get along with. I decided to kill some time by reading one of the books I bought for this school year, since it would be my first year at Hogwarts I thought it would come in handy to read the history of Hogwarts, it was a huge book but thank god I loved reading. There were some very interesting things in the book, like not being able to apparate on Hogwarts grounds, the founders of Hogwarts, that part of the book made the whole question of house unity much more clear. Outside it was nearing dark already, you could still see a shimmer of the beautiful landscape outside. I loved the view of beautiful trees and little rivers, I guess I've always been kind of an nature kind of person. Consumed by my thoughts I hadn't even heard someone come in, I only noticed when he sat across from me disturbing my thoughts. When I looked up at him I didn't know what to think, he had this weird smirk on his face, don't know what he wanted with that. His smirk faded a little when I didn't say anything ,I looked out the window again and sighed. "You're the new girl right, head girl.." he said suddenly, his voice was soft but sharp, like he didn't want to waste any time. "Yes" I said still looking outside, even though in the mean time it turned so dark outside you could barely see anything, "I suppose I am". I turned to face him now and he seemed to have fixed his gaze on me, the fact that he was staring at me so intensely got me to stare away to my feet quickly, though I could still feel his eyes burning holes in my head. "Then you are also the headgirl, and I'm supposed to get you to come with me, we have to help the big oaf get all the first years to the boats when the train stops." I simply nodded my head, closed my eyes and just prayed for strength.

I did not feel at ease with him at all, he was sitting so close to me and I didn't even know him. But this was no time to show fear, or weakness, that's what got me in trouble the first time. "Okay, so where do we go now then" I said looking up, making direct eye contact, he looked surprised, I must have looked very shy just minutes before, but I didn't care, I didn't need the guy I was going to have to live with know how scared I was about being in a room with him. He ran his hand trough his hair, and said "you just have to put your robes on, I'll wait here with you till the train stops, we'll go out together and direct the first years to the big oaf. I raised an eyebrow and wondered who he meant with big oaf, wasn't a very respectful way to talk about a teacher. "fine", I said "if you would be so kind to wait outside while I change then" I already stood up and grabbed my robes, I had my back turned towards him I had already taken of my cloak and wore a short sleeve black t-shirt, it covered pretty much everything. Still it felt quite uncomfortable when he suddenly stood behind me, his hands on my shoulders, his breath in my neck. "I could off course help you change your clothes" he whispered in my ear in a way that sent shivers down my spine, I closed my eyes for a moment and I turned around, "Get out now" I whispered holding my breath, I nearly had tears in my eyes but I looked at him coldly "get out now or I'll hex you into pieces so tiny they won't even recognize you" I said through gritted teeth when he didn't move. He swallowed as his smirk disappeared from his face and mumbled "fine, I was just kidding anyway" when he stumbled to the door. He disappeared and I started breathing again, closing my eyes to calm down again I started changing my clothes, I had just put on my cloak when I opened the door for him to come in again. He actually looked embarrassed as he sat down, looking at his hands, I was kind of waiting for some smart remark or something, seemed to fit him right, but nothing came. I rolled my eyes, had to keep myself from laughing, I needed to act lightly about it or it would eat me up. "Gee" I said, "how do you go from so arrogant and intrusive, to so very shy and.. well.. cute, actually.." I blushed as I said that, but I didn't mean anything bye it, he just looked like such an innocent little boy.. no way I would ever believe him to be like that.

A little while later we had directed every first year, to the teacher I learned to be called Hagrid, who he rather referred to as the big oaf. He walked with me up to the doors of the great hall we stopped there cause we weren't sure where I was supposed to go. "MALFOY!" a red haired girl came running up to us and I saw his face fall, he looked kind of, disgusted. "What do you want weasel" he spat at her, I thought the girl looked rather nice, she had nice red hear, bright brown eyes and a face full of freckles. She looked adorable. "McGonagall told me to take Cailen with me in the great hall, I'm supposed to be showing her around the next week or so" she answered with the same disgust showing in her face, there was definitely something up between those two. "fine then" he spat , "take her with you, it's not like I care, just don't turn her into a new weasley, I'm gonna have to live with her this year you know." The girl merely rolled her eyes and hold her hand out to me with a smile, I shook her hand smiling back at her and said: "hi I'm Cailen, but I guess you already knew that" I felt very comfortable with her, she had such a serene aura, or however you say something like that . She just made you feel calm. "I'm Ginny, she responded, Ginny Weasley, Professor McGonagall has asked me to guide you these next weeks and if there's anything you want to know feel free to ask me." She said with a smile. She director her hand towards the door and laughed at me, "let's go watch the sorting ceremony, I understand you won't be sorted?" I shook my head and smiled "no" I said "this is my last year, and I'm living in a separate common room, she thought it would be better for house unity to have an impartial person here.." I merely shook my shoulders and walked up to her, as she lead me through the doors to the great hall, where the sorting ceremony was about to take place.


	3. Secrets to share

**AN.** I do not own harry potter, just the plot of this story and me my own cailen.  
PLEASE R&R I would really like some constructive criticism, thnx again for the review!

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**Secrets to share**

"So this is the common room we'll have to share?" I asked the blonde, who already made himself comfortable on one of the couches. "Yeah" he responded "it's quite alright, you're bedroom is on the right, mine on the left. The bathroom is at the end of the room at the right, we have to share it and the kitchen is on the left of the bathroom" he said pointing his hands in all the different directions. He was acting kind of decent know, thank god. I smiled at him and excused myself, as I decided to change, I was never the kind of person to wear a uniform, especially not a skirt. In my room I put on something more comfortably, some nice baggy jeans and a plain black spaghetti strap top with a plain grey vest over it. I just wanted to pull my hair together when I heard him yelling, telling me to hurry up, apparently there was a letter for us. When I entered the common room again, he was still sitting on the couch, but there was a fire roaring in the fire place ,making the temperature much more comfortable, and I saw to steamy mugs standing on the dresser, with what smelled like hot chocolate milk. He turned his head and smiled, "I hope you like hot chocolate milk" he said as he gestured to the seat next to him. "Thanks" I mumbled as I walked over and seated myself on the same couch but still with more than enough space between him and me. "What does it say?" I asked gesturing to the letter he was holding, he just finished reading it and sighed. "Well," he said, "apparently we have to organize four balls this year, all to improve house unity, we have to take a different partner from a different house each ball." He kept staring at the paper as I relaxed in the couch, "this sucks" he said, I looked at him questioningly and he just raised his shoulders. "why does it suck" I asked "I love balls, should be fun to organize them" a moved a little in my seat facing him now. "Well it's so much easier for you, you.. You haven't done things, people are either scared of me, or they hate me. What a nice date that'll make." I could just hear the pain and anger in his voice, I never would've seen that in him. He was looking at his hands now, probably embarrassed that he said that. "Well, I don't know you, and so for you have yet to make me hate or fear you." I felt myself blushing as I said that but I looked up at him and smiled. For some odd reason I felt the need to comfort him. "You will," he whispered "they'll tell you and you will hate me" he whispered still looking at his hands. "But," he said "I just told you something very private about me, it's only fair you tell me something about you" he had his usual smirk back on his face already, and I couldn't help but smile. "Nice to see you back to your normal self, for as far as I can tell off course" I said smiling at him, "so tell me something" he said looking at me quietly sipping his chocolate milk. This was quite uncomfortable, and I got so hot, there was enough to tell but to actually tell them to someone I just met, to a guy. I had never told anyone what had happened, at least not the complete story, I just couldn't. Only Nick knew. In the mean while, it got so hot, I wished he hadn't turned the fire on, I wished I wasn't holding a hot cup of chocolate milk. I put the mug down and took of my vest, when I turned around to put my vest on the arm of the chair next to the couch, I heard him gasp. I immediately knew I made a mistake. I hadn't done it intentionally but I guess.. I just told him something private. Before I could turn around I could feel his fingers.. touching the scars on my back. They were horrendous, I had tears in my eyes when I turned around to face him, and all I could see before I ran to my room, were the disgust and pity I saw in his eyes. I locked myself in my room for the rest of the evening and I decided that I would be keeping a diary, I always felt the best way to deal with your feelings, is to write them down, and so I did. I wrote everything, from how he made me feel on the train, how he had scared me, and how he embarrassed he had looked after that. How nice Ginny seemed though Draco didn't seem to like her, and how decent he was, making her hot chocolate, discussing the letter with her, and how fragile he looked in that moment he let his guards down. After what looked like hours I decided to go brush my teeth I had put my vest back on though and I walked to the bathroom. The bathroom wasn't locked so I just walked in, Draco was brushing his teeth and apparently didn't find it necessary to lock the door, oh well, I thought, so I walked to the sink next to his and started brushing my teeth as well. After he finished he waited for me to finish as well, looking at me like he had something to say. "I" he started as I was finished, I was just staring at the floor, not knowing what to say, "I won't tell, I promise, but I hope, that when you're ready to tell, you'll tell me everything." I looked up to see him looking at me with hope in his eyes and I smiled at him, "I promise I won't tell either, and I don't know if I'll ever be ready for that" and with that I left for my room, and for hopefully a goodnights sleep.

"_Stay away from me!" I yelled as hard as I could "get your filthy hands of of me!" tears were running down my cheeks, how did he find me again, why did he always find me no matter where I went. I kicked him in the shin and I cut loose ,I was running from him now, I could tell I was at the Hogwarts grounds, I could see the great entrance doors, I just had to keep running. "You can't run from me Cailen!" I heard his voice, followed by __maniacally laughter, "I will always find you, wherever you run to, YOU ARE MINE!" I had almost reached the doors, just a little bit further, when I felt the worst pain ever gush through my entire body and I fell to my knees. He did it again, he was laughing in that awful way again, "crucio!" he yelled as I was cringing on the ground, he enjoyed this so much. I kept hoping someone would come, someone would help me, why didn't anyone come! It wasn't over yet, he had stopped the curse but it wasn't over, he lifted me up and took me to the forbidden forest. I was scared but I couldn't do anything, I couldn't cry, I couldn't scream, I tried to put up a fight but I was exhausted. "I'll make you mine again Cailen," he put me down on the ground, just few steps into the forest, he had already put a blanked down, he knew this would happen! I swallowed back my tears and I tried to get myself out of his arms, I tried to hit him, I really did, I just didn't seem able to touch him, I was kicking all around but it's like my legs just wouldn't hit target. They were just feeble attempts. I felt him ripping of my pants, unbuttoning his own, his hands under my shirt. I couldn't take this again, not again. Tears were falling everywhere now, and I just kept kicking and hitting and screaming, I screamed so hard ,"not again, not again, not again, not again…" _

I woke up panting heavily, my pillow was all wet, I couldn't get my heartbeat under control. It had felt so real, the pain, tears started rolling again but I wiped them away and I got up. I decided that maybe it was better to drink a nice cup of hot chocolate and sit on the couch for a while, maybe that would calm me down. When I walked in the common room, I saw there was still a little fire left, and there was a blonde sitting on the couch. I sat with him. "Are you alright?" he looked kind of worried, "I'm alright, it was just a dream right," I whispered looking down at my hands . "What about you, can't sleep Draco?" he looked tired, and kind of scared actually "I'm fine" he responded "it's personal", his voice was cold and hard, apparently he didn't want to talk about it. "That's alright" I said "but if you ever want to talk, I'm a pretty good listener". After that I went back to my room again, to try and get some sleep, tomorrow was going to be a long day.

"CAILEN!" someone was screaming my name and knocking on my door "CAILEN! GET UP OR YOU'LL MISS BREAKFAST!" Draco was yelling my name and, oh my god, I overslept! "I'm coming!" I yelled back as loud as my dry mouth allowed me, I jumped up grabbed my uniform and dressed as fast as I could, still putting my shoes on I stumbled out of my room, almost bumping into Draco who was holding a cup of coffee out for me. Then I saw a pretty angry looking redhead standing next to him, and he had a smirk on his face like you wouldn't believe. "see Weaslette, I told you I didn't do anything to her to make her late." His smirk grew even bigger if it could and Ginny just huffed, "breakfast is almost over" she said smiling at me "yeah, okay" I responded "sorry I overslept, I just didn't sleep very well last night" I blushed as I said that and looked at Draco who showed just a little smile and nodded. "That's alright Cailen, let's go so we can still eat something" Ginny already walked to the door, as I took a big sip of the coffee Draco made me I gave him the cup back and thanked him for the coffee.

"Did he do anything to you?" Ginny asked as soon as we closed the portrait hole behind us, walking to the great hall fast, I raised an eyebrow and smiled "why would you think that Ginny" I asked her curious to know her answer, "he's not exactly a nice guy you know" she looked quite serious and continued "you said you didn't sleep well, did he have anything to do with that?" I was surprised she thought that, she really thought bad of him, was he right about everyone hating or fearing him? "No Ginny, he had nothing to do with it, I actually had a nice talk with him last night." We finally made it to the great hall and started eating breakfast, it felt like everyone was looking at me and it was really awkward. "So tell me Ginny. Why doesn't anyone like him?" Her head shot up and looked at me like I was an alien or something, "oh yeah, off course you wouldn't know," she sighed took a sip of her pumpkin juice and looked at me, "he's an arrogant prat who thinks himself better, worthier, greater than everyone else, especially over those who aren't pureblooded, he's a bully and he's evil". I didn't know what to say, the only response I could apparently make was "oh". So now I knew why they hated him, but I hadn't seen him like that at all, it was so hard to believe he'd be like that. This definitely gave me something to think about.

My first class that day was with the slytherins, Potions, a double hour. The teacher, professor Slughorn, had seated me next to Draco, when I went to sit next to him he didn't even look at me. I decided to just ignore it for now, he'd warm up during class, or so I thought. We were assigned to make a very difficult potion together, we got all the ingredients together and I started chopping them up as he kept reading the instructions. "so, thanks for this morning," he just huffed and didn't say anything "I talked to Ginny this morning," I stubbornly continued, he sighed and stopped reading, looking at me the first time this class, "so you know why she hates me, now just stop talking and make this potion." I looked at him in shock, maybe Ginny was right after all, but I wasn't going to give up on him so easy. The rest of the class we worked in silence, I didn't say anything I didn't look at him, no contact at all, I can be cold to if that's what he's playing at. If he was going to keep this up the entire day, it would certainly be, a long day. I'd show him how cold, cold can really get.


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